


All This Fuckery

by Tennyo



Series: In Dreams [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9x18 coda, Gabriel Lives, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, semi-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 05:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1539911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tennyo/pseuds/Tennyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam gets a visit from an angel he thought was dead.<br/>Coda for 9x18, Metafiction<br/>You don't have to read Part 1 to enjoy this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All This Fuckery

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [This Tumblr post](http://consulting-cannibal.tumblr.com/post/83019480391/ohhh-metatron-mused-flipping-through-the-pages) and its accompanying [meta write-up](http://consulting-cannibal.tumblr.com/post/82914888802/so-scout-gabriel)

Sam is restless. Cas’ words keep echoing in his mind, _You keep an eye on him._ Like he’s his brother’s keeper. Except now he kind of is. Damn Dean and his half-assed half-cocked schemes. He never really thought about shit. And was maybe a little too self-sacrificing in the process. Okay, maybe he had forgiven Dean a while ago, but he couldn’t keep making decision for others and pretending like he knew best, when he was barely flying by the seat of his pants himself.

He sighs and flops over onto his side, sleep elusive. So yeah, he’d forgiven his brother, but he was still pissed, and now he has to make sure Dean doesn’t go all dark-side with the Mark of Cain… Giving up, he reaches for the remote to turn on the TV he’d set up in his room and flicks through the impossible amount of channels he’s able to get. He is still convinced that the Men of Letters bunker was powered by magic, especially after seeing how that Magnus guy had his own place set up.

Stopping on a random channel, he recognizes the sequence of a woman talking about needing to relax… Yup, Casa Erotica. Every video in the stupid franchise seemed to open this way. It isn’t what he is in the mood for tonight, although he’s sure Dean would be all over it if he knew it was airing. Right before he changes the channel, he pauses. Wait, it couldn’t be…

On the screen is a waiter with slicked back hair and a terrible fake mustache, and he looks _Just Like Gabriel._ But that couldn’t be, because he’s- Looking straight from the screen, the lookalike opens his mouth and a familiar voice says, “Hello there, Samsquatch, you miss me?” The fake moustache gets ripped off and Gabriel smirks, waggling his eyebrows. Sam can’t help but make a strangled noise when the (supposedly) dead angel snaps his fingers and appears right in front of the TV.

“Aww, Sammy, you’re not still holding Mystery Spot against me, are you? Or the trip to TV Land? After all, I did try to kill my big brother for you guys and got ganked in the process.”

Sam’s brain can barely keep up with what’s going on. This can’t really be Gabriel, and how the hell did… whatever it is… get in here? The bunker’s supposed to be warded against all kinds of shit.

“DEAN!” Sam calls as he crawls into a defensive position on the bed, reaching for the gun he keeps under his pillow. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s thankful to have stayed in the habit of wearing shorts and a t-shirt to bed.

Gabriel makes a pouty face, “Aww, it’s sweet you want your brother here, but I’ve gone to considerable trouble to come visit YOU, Sammykins. Had to go all Shirley MacLaine to get here.”

Gabriel rocks back on his heels,  looking around the room while Sam processes this. _I’ve got an angel blade in my bag,_ Sam thinks, _I just need to get to it._ One of those should take care of _whatever_ is wandering around his room and poking at his dirty clothes pile. Time for a distraction.

“So, if you’re Gabriel, then how did you avoid getting killed by Lucifer?” He crawls off the edge of the bed, facing whatever is wearing Gabriel’s face as it saunters over to the desk on the other side.

Gabriel just gives him a look like he’d disappointed and says, “You’re not gonna make me say it, are you, Sam? I thought you were the smart one.” He looks around the room. “I gotta say, I’m disappointed at your housekeeping skills.” Poking at a haphazardly stacked pile of files and folders, stacked dangerously high. “Although, the amount of lore you have crammed in this place is impressive.”

Sam has edged his way to the foot of the bed, his weapons bag sticking out under the corner. “So, you’re saying you pretended to be dead? For _four years?_ ”

Gabriel plops down in the chair at the desk. “ _Hello,_ Witness protection! I had to hide, especially after Raphael and his goons went all wacko.” He sighed, “And poor Castiel, I really thought he was gonna pop like a piñata with all of Purgatory crammed up in him.” He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a package of Twizzlers, waving it at Sam, “Want one?”

Sam shakes his head, and after some toeing around in his bag, he’s managed to slide the hilt of an angel blade near the opening. “So you’ve been hiding all this time, why come out now?” When Gabriel looks down to tuck his package of candy away, Sam reaches down for the blade, keeping it hidden behind the bed.

Gabriel has a Twizzler dangling from his lips and slurps it into his mouth like a giant noodle. Chewing noisily, he says, “Because I got caught, kiddo. Didn’t you notice how unnaturally powerful you-know-who was?”

This makes Sam pause. “Wait, you’re saying Metatron captured you?” He gets a conciliatory sideways head nod. “And he’s what, using you like a battery or something?” Gabriel’s eyebrows go up, and a thin-lipped unhappy smile forms. “And now he has access to your powers.” He gets a shooting gesture and a wink as indication that he’s correct. _Shit. This is not good. But I guess it’s better than Metatron being God or something._ He looks the supposed angel over. If this IS Gabriel, and Metatron is using him, then there’s no way of knowing if he can trust anything he says. First, to find out what he is. “So, why decide to come to me?”

Gabriel grins, arms open wide. “Because you’re my favorite Venture Brother!” His expression falls back to serious, “But really, I gotta do something. I’m-” he pauses, looking like he’s testing out words before saying, “restrained.”

Sam’s eyes narrow, “So if you’re… restrained, how are you here?”

Gabriel rests his hands on his knees and levers himself up. “Well, why don’t you take that feather-duster you’ve been hiding and find out?” He walks around the bed to Sam and looks up at him. “C’mon, I know you’ve been looking for the opportunity to figure out what I really am.” He holds out an arm, wrist-up. With a wary, guilty look, Sam pulls the blade from hiding. He grabs the angel’s wrist, pushes up his sleeve and tries to draw the blade across his forearm, only to have it ghost through. He’s startled, until he remembers what the angel said about coming here.

“So… what? Astral projection?”

Gabriel shrugs, “Something like that.”

They spend what feels like the next couple of hours playing a mixed-up version of twenty questions and charades. Gabriel has gone through a full package of Twizzlers, a king-size Snickers bar, and a couple handfuls of jelly beans. He’s been sucking on a Blow-Pop and almost gotten it in Sam’s hair with his gesturing twice. He’s also been grotesquely suggestive with his licking and sucking of said pop and keeps waggling his eyebrows at Sam, making him blush uncomfortably.

What Sam has been able to glean is that Gabriel doesn’t know where he’s being held, except he’s apparently got some kind of uber sigils locking down and leeching his power sources, both angelic and Trickster. He’s also trapped in a ring of holy fire. He doesn’t know why Metatron’s immune. Sam was able to glean a small portion of his interaction with Cas, but because of his binding, Gabriel doesn’t know and can’t say much more. However, he does know that if Metatron is controlling the Trickster magic, it’s imperfect. Because of the bindings, Gabriel can’t freely speak about his current situation, hence the roundabout questioning.

It all leaves Sam with a tension headache in his left temple, and he feels exhausted. He actually gave in and had a couple of jelly beans, which were surprisingly realistic since everything was being projected somehow. While he’s massaging his own head, Gabriel gives him a sympathetic look. He’s reaching toward Sam when suddenly the angel freezes and sits up straight.

“Oops, the warden is coming, time to vamoose. I’ll try to keep in touch, alright, Sam? Try to get some rest.” He crams what’s left of the sucker into Sam’s mouth, and leans close to whisper with a lascivious smile, “And don’t wake up Dean, wait ‘til morning. Trust me.” With that, he vanishes with a snap of his fingers.

Sam pulls the stick out of his mouth to discover a slobbery mess of gum and very little hard candy left. He flicks it into the trash can along with the other discarded candy wrappers. Hoping that going back to sleep cures his headache, he collapses back on his bed and burrows under the covers. The next morning, the trash can is empty.

Sam makes it to the kitchen in the morning first, and starts the coffeepot. He’s glad to be able to eat his own breakfast in peace, without Dean complaining about how fruit and oatmeal isn’t really breakfast. After eating and then washing the bowl, he settles with a cup of coffee at one of the research desks when Dean scuffles in with a haunted expression. Curious, he follows, watching his brother act especially jumpy, almost breaking a coffee mug in his quest for caffeine.

“You alright, Dean?” He watches the man’s back seize like he’d just gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t. Interesting. After a sip of coffee, Sam leans on the doorframe and says, “So an odd thing happened last night…” He would swear that his brother just squeaked, and he spilled coffee on the counter.  Dean turns and tries to act all nonchalant, but it only makes him look really guilty of something.

Eyes wide, Dean clears his throat and says, “Yeah, uh, what was that, Sammy?”

He watches his brother clean up the spilled coffee with a rag, and continues. “Gabriel’s not dead.” Dean drops the rag and looks at him like he has a second head growing.

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw Gabriel last night, he uh, wanted to talk.” It sounded dumb, even to him. “Apparently Metatron has him locked up somewhere, draining his powers, and that’s what got him so overpowered.” Sam gives a brief recount of what he found out last night, and his brother’s face grows more cloudy with each new implication.

Dean wipes a hand down his face. “So, what, we’ve got Metatwat juiced up on fresh Trickster mojo, We don’t know where he is or how to unplug him from Gabriel, Cas’ mojo’s running dry, and we still need to find Abaddon? Sounds like just another day in our screwed up lives.”

Sam blinks, registering everything Dean just said. “Wait, what about Cas? When did you find out about that?” He watches Dean get a deer-in-headlights look before he turns back to the countertop, tossing the coffee soaked rag into the sink.

“Uh, I, uh, got a call from him this morning. It’s pretty bad, Metatron tried to convince him to help out by offering him free refills if he stuck to the script or something.” Dean turns around, and even though he’s trying to keep a stoic face, Sam can see the worry in his tension. “So, uh, I need to do laundry.. um, can we pick this up again later?”

Sam nods, hearing Dean mumble something about needing clean underwear has he scurries back to his room. _Huh._ He heads to the library in the hopes of finding something about angel binding. He thinks of calling Cas, but he’ll wait for Dean to finish his laundry or whatever, and maybe get out of the weird mood he’s in. The whole Cas mojo thing has apparently really shaken up his brother. No surprise, considering how tightly wound anything wrong with the angel makes Dean.  He’s been watching those two moon over each other for years, but they’re both too stupid to make the first move.

He settles in at the old-fashioned card catalog, hoping to find something useful. He knows they need to find a way to free Gabriel, and help Cas.


End file.
